1. Never wait for someone or something to make a change in your life…
I’ve heard people say, when I get more money, I’m going to travel more or when I lose weight, I’m going to go out more.
Look at it this way, if you travel more now, you may come across more money and if you go out now you will be more encouraged to lose weight. Do what you WANT to do now. You may not have the chance “tomorrow…”
2. Don’t depend on anyone or anything.
Truth is, we can do whatever we want if we take the initiative and get our priorities in order. When we depend on other people, we will usually give up. Your emergencies, goals and dreams are not theirs.
3. Plan… all the way to the end.
One of the HARDEST lessons I have learned is this one. If you don’t have a plan you are indeed planning to fail. Make sure you map out exactly what it is you want to do and don’t get sidetracked.
4. There are ALWAYS two sides to every story…
The older I get the more suspicious I am of someone who talks negatively about another person. What benefit do you get out of negating someones credibility… further, what’s THEIR take on this situation?
Will you do the same to me when my back is turned? So on and so forth, when someone calls me for a reference on someone else, even if I don’t like them (and there is only one person in the entire industry that I don’t care too much for) I would rather say nothing than to bad mouth them. That was not always the case but Karma is a bitch.
5. Act like everyone else but think on your own terms.
For decades, I despised politics but part of planning your future is to play the game folks. There will be people who will treat you like shit on the job and in life but make sure YOU have the last laugh.
It’s better to let someone get their frustration out in front of others and maybe even embarrass you then to get up and knock a dent in their skull. Trust me, they will pay the price, if they are not already…. Success IS the best revenge….
6. STAY AWAY FROM NEGATIVE PEOPLE AND THINGS
I hate to say this but the truth is the truth, black folks can be SO negative sometimes and I have to separate myself from that. I’m sure that every race has negative people but since I am black and I deal with a lot of black people, I have to go and take a multicultural vacation sometimes. The biggest complaint I have about my people is our attitudes, how we consistently judge others in a negative light and how opinionated we can be.
If you find that you are around negative people run for the hills and don’t stop until you see smoke coming out of your shoes. Negative people are not always negative in one way, sometimes it’s an ‘energy’ you feel. I KNOW when I’m around negative energy and I move quickly, do the same.
7. If you are in business and you have to beg people to support you, you are in the wrong business:
Part of my consulting other businesses and being an entrepreneur myself is about telling clients to stop chasing what is not running towards them. You don’t see a lot of ads in my updates because I got tired of begging labels and corporations to buy ads.
Now I do it because I LIKE to do it and if something comes along in the form of advertising… fine… if not FINE but begging destroys your personal and your entrepreneurial self esteem.
8. When you see the train coming, get off the tracks….
Have you ever actually seen yourself headed towards a negative direction but it seemed like you were unable to pull yourself out of the situation? I have, it’s a form of depression that keeps us “stuck” sometimes. You are waiting for something to change the situation but only YOU can do that. Take baby steps or giant leaps to save yourself from disaster.
If the situation is potentially devastating, stop everything you are doing and TOTALLY step out of it, take a trip, vacation or just spend a few days with yourself. I’m telling you, having dinner by yourself at a nice, or even your favorite, restaurant is AMAZINGLY therapeutic. Take a paper or a magazine and totally enjoy the experience. The train and track reference is a great one cause if something is not right in your life, it’s generally because you are on the wrong “track.”
9. Do something for someone in need and you will discover your own peace of mind.
We get so caught up in our own shit that we often fail to see the needs of others. There’s someone around you somewhere that needs help in some way.
An older neighbor may need a ride once a week to the grocery store or maybe even a weekly visit, the mission may need help or the church may need help. Get out of you and into someone else’s needs and you will feel better about your own situation.
10. Live life on your own terms…
People will always have two things: opinions and secrets. Ironically what they are opinionated about is usually the complete opposite of their secrets. In other words the things a person despises the most are usually a part of what eludes them. They are not expressing their dislike as much as they are their frustration.
Example: when people express their dislike about being broke, they are really expressing their frustration with not having enough money. Yet they are not usually doing the things to take them to the level where they could make more money. So there is a large part of them that actually ENJOYS being broke.
Take both like a grain of salt and live your life to the fullest. Keep your mouth shut and walk away when you come in contact with people talking about other people. People who talk about other people are secretly miserable in their own lives. They are not getting enough attention, love, validation and/or sex. Don’t succumb to their misery.
